Oh! That's what Daddy was doing.

Growing up, my Dad very seldom showed his emotions, at least the lovey-dovey type. I think it was partly due to, well he's a man, and the other because he's Chinese. Not that Chinese people aren't loving :) it's just a completely different culture. (He first came to the U.S.A. when he was 27.)

Don't get me wrong, I always knew my Dad loved us very much. I never doubted that. I just remember silly things like saying "Good night Daddy, I love you!" and his response would be "Ok, good night" as his eyes were glued to the TV after work and he was lighting a cigarette (he worked long hours and used to smoke for years). I'd stamp back into the living room and yell "Don't you love me!" And he'd laugh and say while still chuckling "yeah yeah heda lee (Heather Lee) you know I love you." "Then tell me!" I'd say. And with more laughs he'd reply "Ok, ok I love you." :)

(Couldn't find a pic of the two of us, so here's one of me.)

As an adult, I look back and realize how much I didn't understand as a kid, and how much more I can appreciate my dad (my mom too for that matter, but we'll have a mom blog later :)) I see now that his long work hours were his way of loving us, providing the best he could for his family. But most recently I had a light bulb moment. . .

Josh was sitting on the couch watching TV and I knelt down on the floor beside him and just looked at him with a grin on my face all the while rubbing and patting his arms and legs with slight little pinches here and there. I was just having a moment of admiring his handsome little self and thinking about how proud of him I am and how much I love him. And then it was suddenly like deja vu hit me, well sort of, reversed. I remembered how Daddy used to do this all the time to us - sit and look at us and pinch our arms, while we were trying to do something else like watch TV too. Like with Josh, the TV watching moments were probably the times we were actually sitting still for at least a short period of time. So I thought to myself "Oh! That's what Daddy was doing" :)

I thought about it again just last night at dinner. I was enjoying watching Josh eat well. He had buttered rolls (probably too many, lol), steak and gravy, potatoes and green beans. And I remembered again how my Dad used to have a grin on his face when watching us eat. For him, I'm sure it also had to do with the fact that he grew up in China with not a lot to eat at times. Kids eating = healthy kids = happy parents. :)

Too bad we live so far apart now and we can't spend more time together.

I love you Daddy. XOXO